We are always saying yes to something.
When i first opened the studio it took me a while to get comfortable with my new role as 'studio owner/yoga teacher. I was in a dilemma at how to merge these new titles with who i already was: A woman who liked drinking wine, dropping regular F bombs, listening to hip hop and wearing sassy clothes. I didn't want to suppress or abandon who i was and what i enjoyed but i also didn't know what it would mean about me if i didn't, was i not a proper yogi?
Not many people believe me when i say i've spent alot of my life in this dilemma, feeling like i had to say no to so much of who i was in fear of what it might mean
about me, confused at where i started and where other peoples projections.
I'm going to boldy say that some of you have or do share this dilemma, this fear with me. Am i right?
My history of no's extends to:
- No to being able to sing
- No to having a curvacious body
- No to speaking the words on my heart.
- No to being friendly incase it was seen as flirting
- No to what i really wanted to create in the world
Well that was until i learnt two really important gifts and perspectives.
1. There is another side of your no, and thats what you are infact saying yes to.
Hearing and feeling all the things i was saying no to was far less confronting than hearing and feeling all the things that i was quietly and indirectly saying yes to.
I was saying yes to:
- Never sharing my absolute love and joy in singing.
- Never celebrating and standing proud in my beautiful body.
- No one ever hearing what i deeply feel.
- Limiting my connection with others.
- Playing small and settling in jobs i knew i could do better in and hobbies that didn't spark my joy.
Hits deeper then the list above it right? Suddenly i realized that was saying yes to living a life like this? this was the other side of and the reality of my no.
2. No one, not you, not your friends, your enemies, your family benefit or gain ANYTHING from you being less of who you are. They infact GROW and GAIN and get PERMISSION when you become MORE you, when you say a full body YES to being who you are.
I thought for so long i was doing everyone else a favor by going along with everything, making it comfortable when i didn't speak up, easy to swallow when i did nothing out of the ordinary but the truth is, i wasn't. My belief was so deep that even when i saw and felt people respond when i spoke/acted/created from who i really was i just palmed it off, made it about something else. It wasn't until the studio opened and it was on such a large scale i couldn't do that anymore, i had 100 mirrors reflecting back to me what standing in my brilliance, saying YES to myself looked like:
- It inspired others.
- It created the attitude of:' if she can do it i can'.
- It gave other people permission to do the same.
- It amplified the idea and understanding that it doesn't matter whether it always succeeds, doesn't always looks pretty or that it actually creates a pushback from others feeling put out by your truth (more on that later) because its true, and if we aren't saying yes to our truth? we are saying yes to living a life of falsity.
And so i want to extend this question to you, what is the other side of the things you are saying no to? what is the life that you actually saying yes to?
This question has been sparked by my rich conversations about the upcoming workshop with Vashti Harper, Desire is not a dirty word hearing people find it really easy yes to participate in events that focus on what they need to change, lose and asks them to invest a chunk of time enveloped in everything that isn't right about them but finding it so hard to say yes and thus saying no to an experience that invites them to invest time in finding, unleashing and celebrating there innate strengths, gifts and joy.
I repeat: saying no to spending more time in joy, strength and celebration and thus saying yes to spending more time in suffering, weakness and what needs to change.
So tell me, where do you sit? what do you want to start saying a full body YES to?
Desire is not a dirty word is on Sunday August 2.30pm-4.30pm
Learn more and book your spot here!